Disclosure: I am writing for and being compensated by Cottonelle for this blog post.
Ah, the delightful feeling of a spanking clean bum.
That’s what I have learned as a brand ambassador for Cottonelle’s #LetsTalkBums campaign. Using Cottonelle Toilet Paper followed by Cottonelle Flushable Cleansing Cloths gives your tushie a one-two punch of freshness that fills you with serenity. Your very own zen in the bathroom. You should try it.
Call me Madam Ambassador.
I take my role as a Cottonelle brand ambassador very seriously. Cottonelle has been on my mind as well as my tush. But in between thoughts of Cottonelle I’ve also been focused on the new fall TV season which debuts this week. As my thoughts migrated from Cottonelle to TV and back, it all started to get a bit jumbled up. Which got me thinking. What if I could tweak these TV show titles juuusst a tad to come up with something a little more edgy, now that my sense of humor is in the toilet?
So. Consider these.
America’s Got No Talent. Contenders vie to produce the most impressive bathroom sounds in front of a live audience. Co-starring: Mel BM
American (M)Idol. Contestants test their skill as they sing and experience stomach cramps simultaneously. Who will get through the song, and who will make a mad dash for the bathroom and face certain elimination? Guest star: Loo Ann Rimes
The Apprent-ass. Real estate magnate and hair-challenged businessman Donald (T)Rump shows contenders how to be an ass in the boardroom.
Breaking Wind. In a stomach-churning episode, Heisenberg and Pinkman cook up something revolting. Better call Saul or make sure that diner booth is near a bathroom.
Downton Crappy. Something smells foul in the servants’ quarters. Mrs. Hughes is displeased. Carson raises his eyebrows. Daisy giggles.
Game of Porcelain Thrones. Incest. Betrayals. Beheadings. The confusing saga of the Stark clan may best be pondered while sitting on the can.
Grey’s Lower Anatomy. Is it a flu bug, or irritable bowel? The GI docs at Grey Sloane Memorial discuss a bout of diarrhea to the strains of an indie rock song. Guest star: Norbert Leo Butz
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Keeping up with the Krapdashians. Kim, Kourtney and Khloe lock Kris in the bathroom to keep her out of their business. While doing her business, Kris muses over her abbreviated career as a talk show host.
Mad Menopause. The middle-aged secretaries of Sterling Cooper & Partners gather in the restroom to complain about hot flashes and insomnia. Guest star: Potty Duke
Poops and Recreation. Leslie persuades City Council to install pet-o-potties for Pawnee’s first Four Footed Friends Festival. Guest star: Estool Parsons
Can you think of any I missed?
The fine folks at Cottonelle provided this awesome video. Follow Cherry Healey as she crosses the pond and surprises airport travelers with Cottonelle wipes. BOOM!
Join us in the conversation over at Facebook or on Twitter at #LetsTalkBums.
