Although my child bearing days are long over, I remember my pregnancies as being a time of intense happiness and dizzying anticipation.
I was lucky, very lucky. I had an easy time of it, from the very beginning to the end.
I still count my blessings, because for many women, it’s not easy at all.
In my 20s and 30s, when my friends and I were starting our families, there was plenty of joy to go around. With each announcement of the good news, we would squeal with delight for the new mama-to-be. Our conversations were all about pregnancy, obstetricians, baby names and where to find Mommy and Me classes.
But there were a few friends who were dealing with infertility issues, and our hearts broke for them. Out of respect, we kept our baby talk to a minimum when they were around. We cheered them on through fertility treatments and shared their anguish when the treatments failed.
Infertility was a strain on their relationships with their husbands, family and friends, including those of us either pregnant or already mothers. Some chose to be open about it; others preferred not to. Either way, their preferences had to be respected. As close as we were, I’m sure we didn’t understand the extent of the sadness they were going through.
I thought of this while reading Judy Mollen Walters’ absorbing new novel, Start at the Beginning, the story of how infertility can affect a friendship and continue to reverberate for years after.
Robin is struggling with infertility when she meets Sarah, a young mother who just moved to the neighborhood with her husband and baby daughter. Robin and Sarah become good friends, in spite of the fact that Robin is unwillingly childless. Each time Robin gets pregnant, Sarah is sure everything will finally turn out well for her friend.
However, heartbreak strikes again and again, as Robin goes through several miscarriages. How does this affect her friendship with Sarah? Sarah, wanting to support her friend, is hurt when Robin pulls away. But she understands that Robin needs her space, and eventually they will resume their friendship. At the same time, she is overburdened with her daughter’s special needs and her husband’s business travels that keep him away most of the week.
Having exhausted all their options, Robin and her husband have almost given up. Then one day a solution appears, which seems to provide the happy ending both Robin and Sarah desire. Unbeknownst to them, this solution, couched in layers of secrecy, will have a ripple effect on their families and themselves for many years to come, changing lives beyond their comprehension.
Walters deftly describes the close but precarious friendship between these women as they both deal with wanting what they can’t have. Start From the Beginning is an honest, heartrending look into a couple’s quest to become parents and an aftermath they never could have imagined.
Walters will be speaking this Saturday, March 19, at the New Jersey ASJA in Cranford, New Jersey. For details and information about future events, plus her other novels, check out her website.
I received a copy of Start at the Beginning for an honest review,
which is the only kind of review I write.
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2016 Helene Cohen Bludman
Wow that sounds like a great read. I would love to check it out.
It is a great read!
I would love to get my hands on that book just to see if it accurately described how I was feeling when I was dealing with secondary infertility. It can be hard to put into words how much if effects your life that’s for sure. We also suffered two early losses so my pregnancies were anything but easy.
Heather, I am so sorry to hear about your issues. I’m sure no one can truly understand who hasn’t been through it.
I think I’ve read some blog posts on this theme of friendship during these periods of time, although I don’t know where the author goes with it. It does seem to be an issue and I can see why it would be.
Carol Cassara recently posted…Remembrance on a rainy day
I have such sympathy for couples who are going through this heart wrenching experience.
Sounds almost heartbreaking. I can’t begin to imagine what some people go through when they can’t have children. I was blessed to have 4 of my own. This would be great for those going through the same journey.
Amanda Love recently posted…Cheesy Squash & Zucchini
Absolutely, Amanda. I’m sure one of the difficult parts is feeling like you’re alone, or different, or flawed.
That is a tough topic. I know people are very sensitive about infertility.
Tam Warner Minton recently posted…Diving the Revillagigedo Archipelago: Roca Partida!
As they should be. I can’t imagine how difficult and stressful it must be.
This books sounds good. I just finished a good book myself and I think this may be my next read.
Awesome, Rebecca.
Wow. I must read this… but it will be a tough one. My daughter and her best friend became pregnant at the same time last fall. Then my daughter lost hers. Her friend is due any day now. It’s been horribly hard on my daughter to remain a good friend. Thankfully her bestie gets it, for the most part.
Lisa at Grandma’s Briefs recently posted…That time my grandsons became pirates
I totally understand your daughter’s discomfort, Lisa. I think this book would validate what she has gone through.
My pleasure, Judy. As you can see from the comments so far, you touched on an issue that resonates deeply. I’m sure you will hear from women who have gone through this experience.
I love every minute of being pregnant, even though I was on 6 weeks total bed rest for my second pregnancy. My heart goes out to all the women who don’t have it so easy.
Mary recently posted…Getting Ready For Spring
Absolutely, Mary.
I have never heard of this book, but it sounds like a great story for sure.
Gloria @ Homemade & Yummy recently posted…Creamy Multiple Mushroom Soup
Definitely!
Sounds like it would pull on the heart! Secondary infertility is also something that is talked more about now and is a real heartbreak as well.
Haralee recently posted…Couples Colonoscopy, Not Really a Thing!
So sad for couples going through this.
This sounds like a very emotionally relatable book. I need to make time to read it.
Thank you for showing interest in reading it. I love getting to know my readers’ likes and dislikes so can continue to write good books.
If you’ve gone through this experience the book will be an emotional read for sure.
While I never went through those difficulties, I have two friends that did. I can’t imagine what they felt or what they were going through. I am going to add this to my reading list!
Jennifer recently posted…College Ave Student Loans: Making College A Reality
Awesome, Jennifer.
It sounds like a book that deals with some things that are very true to life. I’m curious to find out more about Sarah and Robin.
There are some surprises in their relationship, Liz.
I can’t imagine how hard it must be for women struggling with infertility issues – especially when they see friends having baby after baby. This sounds like a fantastic read that touches on a lot of important subjects.
Lois Alter Mark recently posted…marie callender’s cream pies make spring sweeter!
Thank you, Lois! I hope you check it out.
I agree, Lois. Very, very hard.
This sounds like an incredible read! Putting it on my list!
Amanda recently posted…Farmland Math Mat Bundle Review
Thank you, Amanda! Please do let me know what you think!
Wonderful, Amanda! Let me know what you think.
wow what a story that she has. I struggled myself but eventually got lucky and had one child before having to have it all taken out due to a cancer scare so I know the feelings that go along with this topic
I’m glad you were able to have a child and hope you are healthy now!
Wow, Laura. I am sorry to hear about that.
I love finding a treasure to read like this book. I would be willing to read this and am appreciative for the heads up!
Great, Carol! Please read it and let me know what you think. 🙂
Thank you, Carol!
Sounds interesting. I like books with a bit of secrecy!
Ashley @irishred02 recently posted…Let’s Move!
Ashley, I love books with secrecy, too, and I hope I pulled off the secret well here!
I didn’t have to deal with infertility issues, but I was pregnant 3 times and miscarried 2 of them. I am super thankful for the one I have though. I know that not all people are that lucky. 🙂 I am also glad that everything went well for you. 🙂
Dawn McAlexander recently posted…7 Budget Friendly Mother’s Day Gift Ideas #sponsored
Dawn, I went through infertility but I also experienced miscarriage and I found that to be devastating!
My heart goes out to women going through this. This is a tough topic but I am glad to hear about this book because I am sure it will help many women going through similar situations. It always helps to hear stories one can relate to. Makes you feel less alone in devastating situations.
I feel the same, Monica.
Thank you!
Sounds like a very emotional book. Glad people have the courage to tell a story like this. I’m sure it will help a lot of women.
Many women will relate to it.
Looks like a captivating read that will open discussion about a topic women at least in the past have been afraid to discuss.
Pat recently posted…Pockets Full of Friends Make Every Day Special
Thank you!
Absolutely, Pat.
Thanks for the book review. I’m putting together a list of must-reads for this summer. Now to only dedicate the time to read them all!
Tonya C recently posted…Jurassic World Dinosaur Party!
That’s always the issue, right, Tonya? So many books, so little time.