As 2015 draws to a close, I am gratified to end it with a book that has warmed my heart and nourished my soul.
Liane Kupferberg Carter’s tender and poignant memoir, Ketchup is My Favorite Vegetable: A Family Grows Up With Autism, is the story of her son Mickey’s autism, but the theme of parenting children with challenges is universal.
Like any parent whose child does not seem to be progressing “normally,” Carter and her husband Marc have doubts when Mickey isn’t talking or walking like others his age. Their pediatrician assures them that Mickey is “hitting milestones on the late end of normal” and shouldn’t be compared to their older son, Jonathan.
However, at eighteen months when Mickey is obviously delayed, testing is recommended.
Mickey is diagnosed with autism at just under two years old.
It is a bitter pill to swallow when parents get that diagnosis. It is even more devastating when they are not given a road map for navigating the bumpy road ahead.
In Ketchup is My Favorite Vegetable, Carter takes us along for that ride.
The Carters are determined to find the best treatment for their son no matter what it takes. They have consultations with many specialists, who advise a dizzying array of tests and procedures for Mickey. They deal with therapists and aides of varying competence. They seek out other parents of children on the spectrum for their advice. With so many opinions, who can know what the right course of action is?
The search is exhausting but the Carters doggedly pursue answers. It is a roller coaster ride. There are flashes of hope followed by crushing defeat, over and over again. They are dealt another blow when Mickey is diagnosed with epilepsy, a not uncommon condition in autistic children.
Throughout Mickey’s years in school, the Carters receive daily emails from his teachers. Some days are good, some bad. The Carters choose to focus on Mickey’s abilities while being realistic about his challenges, and expect his educators to do the same.
Mickey does well in the special ed program at school until he reaches ninth grade. In the Carters’ community, as in most communities these days, the emphasis is on students who are college bound. The services available for children with special needs are often nonexistent, or mediocre at best.
The Carters are persistent with the district, asking for accommodations that Mickey is entitled to. It is a long and frustrating ordeal, but eventually they are granted their requests. Children like Mickey thrive in an environment in which life skills, not daunting academics, are taught.
Carter is unsparingly honest about the reality of living with a child on the spectrum. The anxiety and sadness, the frustration, and yes, times of anger when Mickey is treated badly by his peers or unknowing, unthinking strangers. The sting of thoughtless remarks or ignorant stares never loses its sharpness.
But Carter does not allow Mickey to be defined by his disability. He is a fun loving, intelligent, compassionate child, friendly and kind to all. He has a wicked sense of humor. He loves his cats and worships his big brother. He is beloved by his family and friends.
Carter, a marvelous writer, details both the struggles and joys of parenting with pathos and humor. Her engaging style makes this book a page turner, and I hope there will be a sequel someday.
Liane and Mickey Carter
Ketchup is My Favorite Vegetable is a validation of the phrase, “love conquers all. ” And I think I’m in love with the Carters.
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2015 Helene Cohen Bludman
The personal story of this family and their journey with autism is inspiring. We all want the best life for our children and to manage the unexpected curve of growing a child with autism is at best complicated. It sounds like a great read.
Jessica Harlow recently posted…Create your own cave paintings with “Dawn of the Croods”! #TheCroods
Sounds like a very moving and touching family story.
What a wonderful title and sounds like a loving book – My son was/is gifted and only a few teachers recognized that. So he didn’t always do well in school – At the time I was a single mom and it was tough trying to get help – Much has changed since that time and so glad to hear about it!
Donna Ward recently posted…How to Basics of Social Media Strategies and Clear Goals in 2016
Things really have changed. Gifted children need appropriate services as well.
Sounds like an amazing read especially with the honesty of the emotions.
Lindsey recently posted…Guest Post “How A Diet Didn’t Change My Weight But Changed My Life”
Absolutely 100% honest.
I’m a big fan of Liane’s writing and can’t wait to read this. Her book sounds like an uplifting way to usher in the new year!
Lois Alter Mark recently posted…my word for 2016 — and probably the rest of my life
You will love it, Lois.
This sounds like such a sweet story and very encouraging to all parents. I teared up just reading your review!
Ashley @irishred02 recently posted…Unwrap a Healthier You with Skinnygirl Protein Shakes!
Aww, thank you, Ashley!
It is important that we know who are children are and what we need to do to help them reach their full potential and full happiness.
Janeane Davis recently posted…What to do When the News Makes Your Employees Cry
I couldn’t agree more, Janeane.
I can see the love and remarkable bond between Liane and Mickey in that photo. Your review of this book truly moved me. Mickey is blessed to have Liane watching over and empowering him. Such deep, unconditional love.
I can’t wait to read this book. Helene thanks for another wonderful review. Books surely “is” wonderful!
Cathy Chester recently posted…How To See The Good In The World In 2016
The Carter family is inspirational and it was a pleasure to get to know them through Liane’s story. Thank you, Cathy!
This sounds like an eye-opening read. I’d love to learn more about this family.
Liz Mays recently posted…Making a Murderer on Netflix
Thanks, Liz!
Sounds like a book that most libraries ought to have in their collection. There are a lot of parents in my community who have kids with autism. I’m going to see if my library system owns any copies. If they don’t, I’ll see if I can interest them in ordering this book. Thanks for a terrific review
Roz, I heartily recommend you do that. This book is a wonderful resource for parents of kids with disabilities, not just autism.
Just the review made me teary. I have a grandson who’s autism is secondary to a syndrome and some serious medical issues too. He is such a blessing and we cherish every day we have him here.
I am going to get this book to share with my daughter and the rest of us.
happy New Year to you and your family!
Doreen McGettigan recently posted…Joy is inspiration for the New Year…
I know this book will resonate with you and your daughter, Doreen. Happy New Year to you and your entire family!
I think this would be a great book for my friend to read whose son also has autism. Parents who actively advocate for their children truly helps them in the long run.
Any parent can relate to Liane’s story, but particularly those who have faced similar challenges.
This sounds like an incredible recounting of a challenge tackled with love. I literally got goosebumps reading your review. I’m unsure if that’s because of the story or the review. Either way, I look forward to reading Liane’s book.
Lisa at Grandma’s Briefs recently posted…How I know 2016 will be my year
Thank you so much, Lisa. I hope you do read it. It is such a compelling story and so beautifully written.
I am definitely going to look into this. I also have an autistic son and some days are a huge struggle and some days are infinitely hilarious.
Athena recently posted…Mimi’s Miracle Minerals #MimisMiracleMinerals
I hope you read it, Athena!
Sounds like a great book! I can’t wait to check it out!
Claudia Krusch recently posted…German Chocolate Cake
Great!
What a great story for them to share. Mickey sounds like a fantastic kid and Carter embracing the positive is awesome
LauraFunk recently posted…Diet Changes, Diabetes and Accountability
Amen to that!
What a lovely story of challenges met with love and determination. This one is on my reading list for 2016.
I couldn’t put it down, Estelle. It is beautifully written.
I love that she’s such an engaging writer. I think this is a book I’d love to read.
Awesome!
Parents like this get my utmost respect-dogged fighters for their kids in ways I can’t even imagine. I would love to read this book and I’d be in love with them, too!
Carol Cassara (@ccassara) recently posted…Reinventing January
It is so nice to get to know this family through Liane’s story. A wonderful family.
This sounds like a wonderful read. I can feel the love and devotion. Thanks much for sharing this inspiring story. Wishing you a joyous New Year to you and yours!
Carolann recently posted…How To Get Thicker Fuller Luxurious Lashes And Brows & GiveAway!
And to you, Carolann!
As always, I love your book reviews! Happy New Year.
And to you, dear Janie!
It sounds like a really good book. I’ve worked with kids on the spectrum, and I cannot imagine how tough it must be to parent them.
Tam Warner Minton recently posted…Tam’s Travels: 2015 Photoblog
Tam, I think this book would really resonate with you.