Tag Archives: Autism

Book Buzz: Harmony

Harmony is that rare novel that hits my trifecta of an amazing read: compelling family drama, dark humor and heart pounding suspense.

Book Buzz: Harmony

Harmony

Written with storytelling skill and compassion by Carolyn Parkhurst, whose The Dogs of Babel was a huge favorite of mine, Harmony is about modern day parenting and the lengths we will go to in order to do right by our children.

It is about the pressure we put on ourselves as parents, the struggle to succeed at parenting and the scrutiny from society, the disapproval, that makes us doubt ourselves.

Alexandra and Josh Hammond, a middle-class couple living in Washington, DC, have two daughters. Tilly, age 12, is a precocious, creative child who happens to be on the autism spectrum. Iris, age 10, is the “normal” one.

The parents agonize over Tilly’s special needs. Her behavioral issues get her kicked out of every school. People stare at her. Children point fingers. Desperate to find the right school, the right therapy, Alexandra doggedly pursues every option, only to come up short. As Tilly’s extreme behavior dominates their lives, Alexandra despairs that Tilly’s issues will only get worse and it will be her fault, her failing as a parent.

My heart sank for this couple. I felt their frustration, their searing anger when other “normal” children made fun of their daughter. Wouldn’t I search everywhere for help as they did?

And if I were at the end of my rope with no stone left unturned, would I also surrender myself to an alternative therapy endorsed by a self-proclaimed parenting expert named Scott Bean whom I am convinced understands my child like no one else? Would I also persuade my husband to sell our house and possessions to follow this cult-like messiah into the wilderness, to a place called Camp Harmony, with just us, our children and a carload of belongings?

Recounted alternately by Alexandra and Iris, the plot thickens as the Hammonds become one of three families, each having a special needs child, to inhabit this experimental society in a rustic setting where communication to the outside world is cut off.

Will Scott Bean’s parenting theories put into action make a difference in the lives of these children? Will the parents of these children finally get the answers they have searched for, the answers that will lead to their children’s happiness and growth?

As the experiment slowly takes on a sinister shadowing, the tension builds  and … well, I’m not going to tell you any more. Let’s just say it elicited more than one OMG from me.

I don’t have a child on the spectrum. But after reading Harmony, I am more enlightened about what it means to live with a child who relates to the world differently but is no less of a person, whose potential can be discovered with love and patience, whose families deserve our respect and support.

Harmony captivated me from page one. I loved it.

 

One of my lucky readers will receive a copy of Harmony. Please leave a comment and a winner will be randomly selected. USA addresses only, please.

I received a copy of Harmony from Viking for an honest review,
which is the only kind of review I write.

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Book Buzz: Ketchup is My Favorite Vegetable

As 2015 draws to a close, I am gratified to end it with a book that has warmed my heart and nourished my soul.

Liane Kupferberg Carter’s tender and poignant memoir, Ketchup is My Favorite Vegetable: A Family Grows Up With Autism, is the story of her son Mickey’s autism, but the theme of parenting children with challenges is universal.

Ketchup is My Favorite Vegetable: A Family Grows Up With Autism

Like any parent whose child does not seem to be progressing “normally,” Carter and her husband Marc have doubts when Mickey isn’t talking or walking like others his age. Their pediatrician assures them that Mickey is “hitting milestones on the late end of normal” and shouldn’t be compared to their older son, Jonathan.

However, at eighteen months when Mickey is obviously delayed, testing is recommended.

Mickey is diagnosed with autism at just under two years old.

It is a bitter pill to swallow when parents get that diagnosis. It is even more devastating when they are not given a road map for navigating the bumpy road ahead.

In Ketchup is My Favorite Vegetable, Carter takes us along for that ride.

The Carters are determined to find the best treatment for their son no matter what it takes. They have consultations with many specialists, who advise a dizzying array of tests and procedures for Mickey. They deal with therapists and aides of varying competence. They seek out other parents of children on the spectrum for their advice. With so many opinions, who can know what the right course of action is?

The search is exhausting but the Carters doggedly pursue answers. It is a roller coaster ride. There are flashes of hope followed by crushing defeat, over and over again. They are dealt another blow when Mickey is diagnosed with epilepsy, a not uncommon condition in autistic children.

Throughout Mickey’s years in school, the Carters receive daily emails from his teachers. Some days are good, some bad. The Carters choose to focus on Mickey’s abilities while being realistic about his challenges, and expect his educators to do the same.

Mickey does well in the special ed program at school until he reaches ninth grade. In the Carters’ community, as in most communities these days, the emphasis is on students who are college bound. The services available for children with special needs are often nonexistent, or mediocre at best.

The Carters are persistent with the district, asking for accommodations that Mickey is entitled to. It is a long and frustrating ordeal, but eventually they are granted their requests. Children like Mickey thrive in an environment in which life skills, not daunting academics, are taught.

Carter is unsparingly honest about the reality of living with a child on the spectrum.  The anxiety and sadness, the frustration, and yes, times of anger when Mickey is treated badly by his peers or unknowing, unthinking strangers. The sting of thoughtless remarks or ignorant stares never loses its sharpness.

But Carter does not allow Mickey to be defined by his disability. He is a fun loving, intelligent, compassionate child, friendly and kind to all. He has a wicked sense of humor. He loves his cats and worships his big brother. He is beloved by his family and friends.

Carter, a marvelous writer, details both the struggles and joys of parenting with pathos and humor. Her engaging style makes this book a page turner, and I hope there will be a sequel someday.

Ketchup is My Favorite Vegetable: A Family Grows Up with Autism

Liane and Mickey Carter

Ketchup is My Favorite Vegetable is a validation of the phrase, “love conquers all. ” And I think I’m in love with the Carters.

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