Not Giving a F*ck

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Audible.
The opinions and text are all mine.

Who is Mark Manson, and why has he written a self-help book called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living the Good Life?

Not a Ph.D, not a therapist, Manson is a regular guy in his 30s who started writing a blog in 2007 for his own enjoyment. His funny, irreverent style and refreshingly blunt philosophy caught on with the masses; hence, his book became a best seller.

Not Giving a F*ck

I am not typically drawn to books in this genre, but with a title like this one, I had to check it out. I downloaded the audiobook from Audible and listened to it while doing stuff around the house last weekend.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Note: There are a sh*tload of f-bombs throughout. Let this be a warning if you are listening to the audiobook as I did.

Manson contends that the lets-all-feel-good-about-ourselves mindset we’ve been spoon fed for years is just wrong. We’ve been conditioned to believe that if we’re not in a constant state of happiness, well, there must be something wrong with us. Not true!

The self-love philosophy that encourages us to buy more, earn more, be more, actually serves to remind us of what we are not, what we have failed to be — why haven’t we reached those higher plateaus? Realizing we’re not good enough, we try even harder, get more neurotic, tear our insides to shreds, and become less happy, not more.

Manson believes that the more we pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied we become, the more we give a f*ck, and the vicious cycle continues.

Giving too many f*cks is bad for your mental health. As Manson says, we’re here on earth for a short time. The key is to not give a f*ck, and you may find that when you stop trying so hard, things start to fall into place on their own.

What the f*ck is wrong with coming in second?

For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. “F*ck positivity,” Manson says. “Let’s be honest, shit is f*cked and we have to live with it.”

When everyone on the soccer team gets a gold medal for just showing up, it does our kids no favor in the long run. We think we’re protecting their feelings, but pretending everyone is extraordinary is perpetuating a myth. The truth is there are winners and losers among us, and that is often isn’t our fault. It’s just the way the cards were dealt.

It is unrealistic to think that things will always turn out the way we want. What makes us stronger — and happier — is dealing with adversity.

Manson knows from whence he speaks.

Like the road not taken, Manson says, it was the f*cks not given that made a difference in his life. He quit his job in finance after six days to start an internet business. He sold most of my possessions and moved to South America. No f*cks given.

F*cks should be given about the important things. That said, the art of prioritizing the important things in life is not an easy process. Over the course of our lives we identify the most meaningful components and eventually discard the things we thought were important but really aren’t. We ultimately realize that we can’t give a f*ck all the time because then we will be disappointed when things don’t turn out the way we thought they would.

A benefit of aging is realizing when to give a f*ck.

We reach maturity when we learn to only give a f*ck about what is truly f*ckworthy.

As we grow older, we come to accept who we are and not aspire to some unrealistic version of ourselves. This is liberating.

I hear this from many of my contemporaries. We no longer need to give a f*ck about everything. We reserve our f*cks for our friends, family, our passions – this is as it should be. Happiness will come as we adjust our expectations of life and accept who we are.

Everyone will have pain, but avoiding it or denying it will just bring more pain. Happiness comes from not avoiding problems, but solving them.

So what the f*ck can we do about it?

Manson says to get real about our limitations — own them and accept them. It’s not wrong or weak to acknowledge our fears and faults; it’s actually empowering. Avoiding the truth leads to unhappiness, but if we can tackle our fears straight on we will actually find happiness through the resilience to deal with them.

Like “don’t sweat the small stuff,” not giving a f*ck can be liberating.

What in your life do you not give a f*ck about?



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36 Thoughts on “Not Giving a F*ck

  1. I can’t think of anything in my life I don’t give a F*K about. Lol. I tend to shy away from anything that would cause me undo stress and anyone as well.

  2. Haha, I totally would have to read this just for the title alone! The biggest thing I’ve learned to not give a f*ck about it others’ opinions of me when I make the best choices I have for myself. It has caused me to cut a lot of toxic people out of my life, and I am doing so much better for it!

  3. That’s been the trend for a while now – not to give a f*ck about anything and live a happy life. But easier said than done 😛 I stopped giving a f*ck about what a lot of people think. The downside to that is that I became more introverted and personal about my life – I don’t share details with my family or friends unless I am willing to listen to their advice/opinions.


  4. The self-love philosophy that encourages us to buy more, earn more, be more, actually serves to remind us of what we are not, what we have failed to be – this is so true. I have a friend who certainly suffers from this. She is constantly buying something ‘they’ say she needs and then becomes so depressed when she has no money. No matter what anyone says she can’t get out of the self-defeating behavior.

  5. 🙂 Like his attitude. I wish it was as easy as they say, not that easy for me, unfortunately…

  6. This sounds like an interesting read, the title and cover most definitely jump out at me and I think sometimes we need to learn to not give a f*ck.

  7. This book is something I need to read TONIGHT! I have been feeling really stressed and depressed lately about people judging me while I am trying hard to get a business off the ground. I work hard and smart but I just need time, and not being supported makes me feel so bad. I need to rewire how I think and be true to myself while staying happy. This will be great for me to read!

  8. I need to pick this up! I’ve realized as I get older that I care less what people think about me. So I guess I don’t give much of a f*ck anymore, and it feels great!

  9. The older I get less matters. It’s not a popularity contest anymore. It is what it is.

  10. Wow, his style of writing is something that really impresses me.Comprehensible, and direct. What I can conclude from stuff above is that you must try to avoid overthinking and stressing, then you’re leading a happy life. But I wonder how possible that is, when being borb itself is a matter.
    I would definitely get the book and absorb it.

  11. This sounds like a fantastic book. I do agree that perpetuating the myth that we are all special, we all deserve everything and we are all winners is damaging.

  12. This sounds interesting! I probably would like to read it than to hear. lol! I agree that acknowledging fear and fault is empowering.

  13. The older you get the more you realize things about life. Had an interesting time reading this post (a lot of f-bombs here as well) and I’ve heard about the book before but haven’t read it yet.

  14. Sometimes it is a very fine art to know. I know that there are times when I can act like a pro. ;]

  15. I don’t Care about the options of toxic people. After I stop letting that negativitymatter I’ve been happy.

  16. Anne Yedlin on September 21, 2017 at 10:12 pm said:

    I so want to read this book! As I get older I find it easier to not give a ___. I just simply don’t have time to deal with negativity and drama. I find it’s harder to hold my tongue when I have an opinion lol

  17. The title of this book is a real attention grabber! I believe that in one way or another we’re all trying to catch a rainbow, and once we do the shine wears off quickly and we’re off again to satisfy our hunger for the next one. Taking steps to getting off this cycle and finding satisfaction within is an excellent goal.

  18. Oh that title is too good. I might read the book right away. Need to get all the negativity out

  19. I personally use this art!! hahahah . Seriously would also read the entire book

  20. This sounds like a good read. I like the benefits of aging – it makes me care less of what others think or say about me.

  21. Bernadette Callahan on September 25, 2017 at 7:51 am said:

    Knowing what your fears are can really help. Knowing who you are and how to deal with tings is a great way to be happier. I would definitely be interested in this book.

  22. I might have to pick this one up! It sounds like a really interesting and thought-provoking read.

  23. I’ll be checking out this book. It’s interesting. As I get older I don’t mind about negative things anymore. Positivity would always be included in my daily mantra but it does not mean I am looking forward to winning every battle literally, it also means looking at a brighter side.

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